I prepped the kidlets... mommy has a lump, found it while in the tub last night when you walked in. Mommy is going to have the doctor look at it... yada yada.. keepin' it real simple.
Then when the Obgyn said it felt cancerous + suggested I chat with my kidlets to prep them. I took her seriously.
Now added to the dinner convo was mommy is going to have biopsy to see if this lump in her chest is cancerous. Explained that there are all kinds of cancers. Old people, Young People, Kids, Mommies can get it and there are so many kinds. Sometimes you hear about someone's grandpa dying of cancer.
But when the calll came, it was hubby's turn to step up to the plate and tell the kids. He talked to them privately in the car, doing his best to explain. Tears where shed, questions were answered and both kidlets came into the house quickly to hug me.
The next morning my sweet 7 1/2 year daughter looked at me and in wonderment said "you don't look like you have cancer" my reply with hands up in the air with the same bewilderment in my tone... "I KNOW!"
Later we got dressed to go out for lunch. I purposely didn't dress in my usual black comfy clothes. Instead I picked out a colorful cheerful blouse, springy headband and lived up to my daughter's expectation of looking cancer-free.
As I prepped my outfit I was reminded of how when I went to visit my father after his open heart surgery he wore a scarf around his neck. Very euro [which he is but he's more member's only than len goodman]. My mom made a comment... but I realized my dad was trying to hide his large scars from me, protect me from the ugly reality.
And now here less than 10 years later I was doing a bit of the same... protecting my own daughter. Putting on a cheerful exterior to hide the dreary interior.
