krista colvin's [putting on my big girl panties + kicking breast cancer in the ass]

hysterectomy...

Last week I had a hysterectomy... It was preventative- meaning I wasn't having girlie problems, I 'just' have an increased risk of getting Ovarian Cancer. A 24% chance based on being that I'm BRCA2 positive. BRCA is the genetic mutation I have. The one that gave me breast cancer. So it wasn't using the lid in the microwave. No amount of blueberries and broccoli could have prevented me from breast cancer.

 

When I told people I was going in they assumed it was because of awful periods or technical issues "oh you'll feel so much better". Nope... haven't had a period in years (thanks to my IUD and my chemo bringing on menopause). Juuuuust poppin' in to avoid a silent sneaky cancer.

 

While I was in the hospital I tweeted... and I commented on a blog. Because what else does a girl do on pain meds... and I couldn't think of anyone that would be happy to hear from me at 3am...

I left a comment for Erin on her blog post I Want my Uterus Back.  While the procedures were the same I'm more of a 'take this uterus + shove it' kind of gal.  So her post caught my eye. Our journey's are different... our roads cross on Twitter. [find Erin on Twitter: @QueenofSpain

 

My Comment April 20, 2011 at 6:50 am

Ironically I’m reading your post from my own hysterectomy post op bed… Located in the maternity ward. My door doesn’t have a set of tiny footprints on it.

But I did increase my odds of meeting my future grandbabies…

My uterus never caused me any problems… Not since college anyway. My pregnancies went well, she served me well. My iud kept me from having periods.

But the sneeky biotch could turn on me… Like her no-longer-perky sisters to the north did. I’m not getting either back… The girls in their original form, my uterus, or the f’n cancer that strolled in like she owned the place.

I have the BRCA2 genetic mutation- odds of breast cancer 84% ovarian cancer 24%

.....

 

My Twitter Stream was as follows: [remember most recent tweets are first] To follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/kristacolvin



 @BarbaraCorcoran cancer's ugly, but you don't have to look ugly... gown had potential- but she didn't #sharktank 

22 Apr

 

@BarbaraCorcoranhot mama gown was on to something... i paid $150 for my nice nordy pj set day i was diagnosed... #sharktank

  

 

I heart you @TCreativeBlogs and the chocolate cake you rode in on.... Thanks!!!

 

 

The next time I have a #hysterectomyI'm going to give my family my oxycodone so that I can rest

 

 

I think there should be a temporary boarding school where you send kids when you get home from the hospital. #leavemealone

 

 

RT @meganmcface: Are You Really YOU On Social Media? by @carriekerpen and featuring @kristacolvin :) http://t.co/jHka7Mx

 

@carriekerpen thanks carrie... Looking forward to getting to know YOU :)

 

 

Discharge! Soon they will wheel me down to @bkajino's chariot THaNKs Brandie!!! #hysterectomy

 

 

@carriekerpen love it! And a lil scared at the same time! #tweetsonpainmeds

 

 

@QueenofSpain I just read your blog post & commented. I'm not feeling very emotional over it... At least not yet ;)

   

 

Pain med sleepy sleepy kickin' back in... 'nite #hysterectomy

 

Being in the maternity wing4 #hysterectomy reminds me of walking through the petite section to get to maternity clothes #mamareyoulost?

 

@metrozing @lizlangeThey organize 'like with like' my surgeon was my obgyn #soI'mtold

 

@lizlange @metrozing However I kindly reminded night nurse to NOT bring me a crying baby last night ;)

 

 

@lizlange @metrozingthey like to call it Women's services... Hmmm. If I were in a different situation I would call it insensitive...

 

@metrozing @lizlange did I mention I'm in the maternity wing?! I'm the room w/o a set of inked baby ft on my door! #hysterectomy #oddreally

 

I feel like a 2yr old after I pee for the nurse... Like I should get a prize or something #hysterectomy #seriously

 

No coffee yet :) but just got another round of pain meds, blood pressure, dressing check & my pee measured! Woohoo! #hysterectomy

 

@ResourcefulMom @lizlange @metrozingFunny how I expected the Twitter stream to be quiet... But you east coasties are up + at 'em!

20 Apr

 

Thanks tweeps for the good mojo today... I'm good :) #hysterectomy

19 Apr

 

I'm done, I'm resting... #all'sgoodunderthehood #hysterectomy

19 Apr

 

I hope my doctor & her surgical team slept better than I did last night... #hysterectomy #brca

 

PS the doctors thought I looked great... I personally think it was because they are used to seeing patients in drab hospital gowns. My navy Carole Hochman get-up from Nordstrom, added a lil' perkiness to my post-op look. So I found it ironic that Friday's episode of Shark Tank included a chic hospital gown... check it out here. http://www.hotmamagowns.com/ 

 

more things i've been putting off...

Like blogging... wow, it's been practically an entire month. Truly I've thought about blogging, I've written posts in my head. But really... I'm over cancer. Does that mean I'm over my blog? I've been pondering this...

And doing this, while I've been pondering...

I've spent the past month focusing on my business, firming up my new business model, attending the annual NAPO conference in San Diego, permeating an idea for a non profit, Spring Breaking in Southern California at my parents, attending a childhood friend's wedding and prepping for my hysterectomy tomorrow. You know, things people do when they're not fighting cancer.

Off to bed... like normal people.

 

things i've been putting off...

 
It's time to deal with some of things I've been putting off...

My desk, the random piles. I've tackled them a couple of times the past year. I even added the basket you see to catch incoming items that I didn't have time to deal with. Then the basket got full and the piles started again.

It's time. it's time to revisit, reduce, and revamp this mess.

It seems so overwhelming... I mean surely it will take me months right?

But I know, I know from experience that my mind has made it bigger than what it is. So after a self-chat, I dig in. I gather up all the desk crap and take it the dining room. I refill my cup-o-joe and tackle it. And within an hour, I've got my sanity back.

I'm movin' forward sister... one lil' project at a time.

 

pay it forward

I've been deeply saddened by the tragic events in Japan. I couldn't even fathom my entire town being swept away. I can't imagine losing my child because my grip wasn't tight enough. I can't begin to know what it's like to be here and not know if your son or daughter made it.

I do know that when life's major events hit, there is power in words.

The kind words, prayers, healing light, and good mojo I received from friends and those I've yet to stare in the eye helped me tremendously. I relied on blog comments, snail mail, tweets and facebook messages to give me a lil' love. I felt supported. I want to pay it forward.

I want those in Japan to know I care. That WE care. I want them to feel what I felt...

Today I created a place to do just that. www.facebook.com/sendlove2Japan

Please take a moment to visit the page and send some love to Japan. It's simple... and powerful.

While you are there, please 'like' the page and share it with your friends around the world...

 

one step forward... 5 steps back

I started 'formally' working out again. My fitness chica, Casey, went with me to my physical therapy appointment to learn what I could and couldn't do. She customized my workout to fit my situation. My situation being... no chest/pec workout with added exercises to stretch my 'node damaged' zone. Casey made me cheat sheets- so when everyone is doing push ups, I'm doing 'xyz' to work my back muscles. Other than that I'm good to go.

But I'm not good to go. I can't keep up in class. I don't really expect to. But I wish I could. I wish I could pickup where I left off.

I didn't keep up 'before' B.C. either. Casey runs a hard-ass workout. She has t-shirts that read "my warm up is harder than your workout" and... that's true. But 'before' I was getting strong. Strong for a 43 year old totally out-of-shape chubby mama. I had mastered jumping onto the tall box. I could actually run up the dreaded hill. I EVEN liked going to workout which was HUGE for me. I also say that working out so hard helped me discover my lump. [more on that and even more here].

Today I went to my kickboxing class. I couldn't pin point why I felt so frustrated. Over my cappuccino at my favorite cafe... it hit me. I expected to pick up where I left off. Where I left off during chemo. But I am no where near that.

So I adjusted my thinking... back a couple of months... then some more.  Even then I had to go further back, back to my first workouts with Casey. Back to square one. I'm not sure I can even claim that level of fitness. 

I need to accept that I'm back at the "43 year old out-of-shape chubby mama" level with cancer treatment taking it's toll.

It's one step forward...five steps back.

lump day

I'm only days away from what I've dubbed "Lump Day".

February 28th, 2010 I found my lump...

My post 'what the lump" shares how I discovered my lump... my cancerous, aggressive lump. The rest of my blog posts share my journey. Some of which has become a blur... moments forgotten, moments that make me laugh, moments that remind me how lucky I am to be surrounded by loved ones and to have such community support.

One of those friends is a local blogger... Today she tweeted this:  

I'm giving away a Flip Camera & Cancer research gets $1 if you join the Just Ask FB page. For my gal @kristacolvin http://ht.ly/434GU

Take a looky... it's WONDERFUL! And... it made me tear up. Thank you Kim, Thank you for your friendship, your support and your contributing to the cause. #nomorelumpsforyou

HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill

I've never written to my Washington State house representatives... until last night. My plastic surgeon is sponsoring a bill that requires a medical community member to give information to women regarding their breast reconstruction options. I fully support women being informed. Amazing that this information has not yet been 'assigned' to a particular type of doctor etc.- hence it gets lost in the shuffle. My breast cancer sisters should NOT be lost in the shuffle.

Here is my letter (if you would like to support this bill the information is below the letter)

I'm writing in support of the HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill.  Within months of my 43rd birthday I found a large cancerous and aggressive tumor in my breast. I am thankful that my two children, age 10 and 7 burst into the bathroom as I was soaking in the tub. I quickly covered myself and my fingers felt the edge of the lump. The previous spring my mammogram had been clear.
 
Before my bilateral mastectomy my daughter asked if she could sit on my lap and snuggle me... She knew what my surgery entailed. What she did not know was my decision to have reconstruction wasn't an easy one. I debated my options.
 
I was thankful to have them (options). I am happy with my decision. I am grateful that my medical team communicated with me. I am one of the few.
 
Please support the HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill so that all women may have the information they need to make an educated choice. Women should have more than a Google search when making a medical decision.
 
Sincerely,
Krista Colvin, Stage 3A Breast Cancer Survivor
.........

If you so desire to support this important bill: contact legislation by going to http://www.leg.wa.gov/House/Committees/HCW/Pages/MembersStaff.aspx.  

You can address your support to the Health Care and Wellness Committee.  
 
Details about the bill:  http://apps.leg.wa.gov/billinfo/summary.aspx?bill=1101&year=2011

A simple note is all that is needed, you can add your personal story to what is listed below. 
 
Send your e-mail to [email protected]. Please give her permission to share with all legislative members.
 
If you weren’t informed of your reconstruction options:
I’m a cancer survivor and  I was not given my options.  I did not have reconstruction because I didn’t know insurance would cover it. I support HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction bill!
 
If you were informed of your reconstruction options:
Your story and a statement that you support the HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill
 

so when do i call it good...

I feel like each time I reach a treatment milestone that my journey isn't really over. #becauseitisn't

I read all the wonderful comments and feel they are premature- yet I know life is about the journey, it's about stopping to smell the roses, celebrating the successs along the way- I'm that kind of girl. But I find myself unwilling to throw the Survivor party just yet...

So I got to thinking... When is that moment for me?

Like any professional organizer... I got out my planner.

I looked at my pending cancer related appointments. Three more Herceptin infusions, Hysterectomy, Reconstruction surgeries. Throw in visits to my oncologist every 3-6 months and a PET scan or two... It won't ever really end.

I picked a date. March 23rd is my last infusion, my last 'die cancer die, don't come back' treatment. This day will mark 1 year and 23 days of breast cancer. I'm calling it good.

I'm going to celebrate. I'm going to exhale. I'm going to look at the view from the top. It's my moment.

 

rock 'em sock e'm

 

I picture my radiation oncologist and my plastic surgeon doing a lil' rock em sock em as they discuss when to re-inflate my expanders. Both Dr. G's have valid points and want the best for me. After a couple of phone calls with one being from the doc's Hawaiian vacation [apparently my girls are that important] I waited one week to get the process started instead of three.

Factors included: skin readiness v. skin 'cementing' down and making expansion difficult.

I love that my doctors work together... I don't think they are this close though #arethosetoysmakingout

last day of radiation... through the eyes of my children

The night before my last radiation treatment, my daughter asked if she could go with me... "you know mom, to be there for this important moment". I immediately said 'sure!' then asked if my son wanted to go as well. I had already asked my husband, so now my LAST radiation treatment followed by the 'bell ringing' was to be a family moment forever etched in 'Flip' time.

I handed over the camera to the kids...