krista colvin's [putting on my big girl panties + kicking breast cancer in the ass]

hysterectomy...

Last week I had a hysterectomy... It was preventative- meaning I wasn't having girlie problems, I 'just' have an increased risk of getting Ovarian Cancer. A 24% chance based on being that I'm BRCA2 positive. BRCA is the genetic mutation I have. The one that gave me breast cancer. So it wasn't using the lid in the microwave. No amount of blueberries and broccoli could have prevented me from breast cancer.

 

When I told people I was going in they assumed it was because of awful periods or technical issues "oh you'll feel so much better". Nope... haven't had a period in years (thanks to my IUD and my chemo bringing on menopause). Juuuuust poppin' in to avoid a silent sneaky cancer.

 

While I was in the hospital I tweeted... and I commented on a blog. Because what else does a girl do on pain meds... and I couldn't think of anyone that would be happy to hear from me at 3am...

I left a comment for Erin on her blog post I Want my Uterus Back.  While the procedures were the same I'm more of a 'take this uterus + shove it' kind of gal.  So her post caught my eye. Our journey's are different... our roads cross on Twitter. [find Erin on Twitter: @QueenofSpain

 

My Comment April 20, 2011 at 6:50 am

Ironically I’m reading your post from my own hysterectomy post op bed… Located in the maternity ward. My door doesn’t have a set of tiny footprints on it.

But I did increase my odds of meeting my future grandbabies…

My uterus never caused me any problems… Not since college anyway. My pregnancies went well, she served me well. My iud kept me from having periods.

But the sneeky biotch could turn on me… Like her no-longer-perky sisters to the north did. I’m not getting either back… The girls in their original form, my uterus, or the f’n cancer that strolled in like she owned the place.

I have the BRCA2 genetic mutation- odds of breast cancer 84% ovarian cancer 24%

.....

 

My Twitter Stream was as follows: [remember most recent tweets are first] To follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/kristacolvin



 @BarbaraCorcoran cancer's ugly, but you don't have to look ugly... gown had potential- but she didn't #sharktank 

22 Apr

 

@BarbaraCorcoranhot mama gown was on to something... i paid $150 for my nice nordy pj set day i was diagnosed... #sharktank

  

 

I heart you @TCreativeBlogs and the chocolate cake you rode in on.... Thanks!!!

 

 

The next time I have a #hysterectomyI'm going to give my family my oxycodone so that I can rest

 

 

I think there should be a temporary boarding school where you send kids when you get home from the hospital. #leavemealone

 

 

RT @meganmcface: Are You Really YOU On Social Media? by @carriekerpen and featuring @kristacolvin :) http://t.co/jHka7Mx

 

@carriekerpen thanks carrie... Looking forward to getting to know YOU :)

 

 

Discharge! Soon they will wheel me down to @bkajino's chariot THaNKs Brandie!!! #hysterectomy

 

 

@carriekerpen love it! And a lil scared at the same time! #tweetsonpainmeds

 

 

@QueenofSpain I just read your blog post & commented. I'm not feeling very emotional over it... At least not yet ;)

   

 

Pain med sleepy sleepy kickin' back in... 'nite #hysterectomy

 

Being in the maternity wing4 #hysterectomy reminds me of walking through the petite section to get to maternity clothes #mamareyoulost?

 

@metrozing @lizlangeThey organize 'like with like' my surgeon was my obgyn #soI'mtold

 

@lizlange @metrozing However I kindly reminded night nurse to NOT bring me a crying baby last night ;)

 

 

@lizlange @metrozingthey like to call it Women's services... Hmmm. If I were in a different situation I would call it insensitive...

 

@metrozing @lizlange did I mention I'm in the maternity wing?! I'm the room w/o a set of inked baby ft on my door! #hysterectomy #oddreally

 

I feel like a 2yr old after I pee for the nurse... Like I should get a prize or something #hysterectomy #seriously

 

No coffee yet :) but just got another round of pain meds, blood pressure, dressing check & my pee measured! Woohoo! #hysterectomy

 

@ResourcefulMom @lizlange @metrozingFunny how I expected the Twitter stream to be quiet... But you east coasties are up + at 'em!

20 Apr

 

Thanks tweeps for the good mojo today... I'm good :) #hysterectomy

19 Apr

 

I'm done, I'm resting... #all'sgoodunderthehood #hysterectomy

19 Apr

 

I hope my doctor & her surgical team slept better than I did last night... #hysterectomy #brca

 

PS the doctors thought I looked great... I personally think it was because they are used to seeing patients in drab hospital gowns. My navy Carole Hochman get-up from Nordstrom, added a lil' perkiness to my post-op look. So I found it ironic that Friday's episode of Shark Tank included a chic hospital gown... check it out here. http://www.hotmamagowns.com/ 

 

HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill

I've never written to my Washington State house representatives... until last night. My plastic surgeon is sponsoring a bill that requires a medical community member to give information to women regarding their breast reconstruction options. I fully support women being informed. Amazing that this information has not yet been 'assigned' to a particular type of doctor etc.- hence it gets lost in the shuffle. My breast cancer sisters should NOT be lost in the shuffle.

Here is my letter (if you would like to support this bill the information is below the letter)

I'm writing in support of the HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill.  Within months of my 43rd birthday I found a large cancerous and aggressive tumor in my breast. I am thankful that my two children, age 10 and 7 burst into the bathroom as I was soaking in the tub. I quickly covered myself and my fingers felt the edge of the lump. The previous spring my mammogram had been clear.
 
Before my bilateral mastectomy my daughter asked if she could sit on my lap and snuggle me... She knew what my surgery entailed. What she did not know was my decision to have reconstruction wasn't an easy one. I debated my options.
 
I was thankful to have them (options). I am happy with my decision. I am grateful that my medical team communicated with me. I am one of the few.
 
Please support the HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill so that all women may have the information they need to make an educated choice. Women should have more than a Google search when making a medical decision.
 
Sincerely,
Krista Colvin, Stage 3A Breast Cancer Survivor
.........

If you so desire to support this important bill: contact legislation by going to http://www.leg.wa.gov/House/Committees/HCW/Pages/MembersStaff.aspx.  

You can address your support to the Health Care and Wellness Committee.  
 
Details about the bill:  http://apps.leg.wa.gov/billinfo/summary.aspx?bill=1101&year=2011

A simple note is all that is needed, you can add your personal story to what is listed below. 
 
Send your e-mail to [email protected]. Please give her permission to share with all legislative members.
 
If you weren’t informed of your reconstruction options:
I’m a cancer survivor and  I was not given my options.  I did not have reconstruction because I didn’t know insurance would cover it. I support HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction bill!
 
If you were informed of your reconstruction options:
Your story and a statement that you support the HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill
 

so when do i call it good...

I feel like each time I reach a treatment milestone that my journey isn't really over. #becauseitisn't

I read all the wonderful comments and feel they are premature- yet I know life is about the journey, it's about stopping to smell the roses, celebrating the successs along the way- I'm that kind of girl. But I find myself unwilling to throw the Survivor party just yet...

So I got to thinking... When is that moment for me?

Like any professional organizer... I got out my planner.

I looked at my pending cancer related appointments. Three more Herceptin infusions, Hysterectomy, Reconstruction surgeries. Throw in visits to my oncologist every 3-6 months and a PET scan or two... It won't ever really end.

I picked a date. March 23rd is my last infusion, my last 'die cancer die, don't come back' treatment. This day will mark 1 year and 23 days of breast cancer. I'm calling it good.

I'm going to celebrate. I'm going to exhale. I'm going to look at the view from the top. It's my moment.

 

day 30... the homestretch

3 more to go...

My last five radiation treatments are a bit different. They call them 'booster shots'. Which means they target my mastectomy scars... apparently cancer cells find this to be a good hiding spot. Well Olly Olly Oxen Free- come out, come out, wherever you are. #takethatbiotchcancercells

My skin is tight... and burnt and peeling. Take a looky.

It hurts under my arm pit... and where my cleavage is. #yesIhavealittlecleaveaction

My cold hands tend to be helpful along with aloe vera gel and the prescription silvadene. I'm thankful my skin isn't cracking- I've heard stories, thus in the cancer world, I'm one of the lucky ones. 

I haven't experienced any fatigue- thank God, because I've been there done that and I'm SO done with that. In fact... I'm feeling great. I'm not napping. I'm not popping sleeping pills, and I can actually stay up til 11pm without completely falling asleep on the couch.

I am however gaining weight. I'm sure the 10 o'clock bowl of cereal and the hoards of holiday + birthday treats haven't helped. #gofigure

30 down. 3 to go. Then I get to ring the bell marking the end of radiation treatment #ringitloud

radiation treament... what it looks like

Radiation isn't scary. It's very detailed + scientific and you have to hold really, really still, but it's not scary. Take a peek at the video my girl Brandie + I took today of my treatment. You'll see what it looks like, how long it takes, and you'll get a peek at my gold lame disco top they let me wear. #don'tbejealous

Today was Day 19 of 33 treatments. My treated skin is noticeably darker... as in I have 'tan' lines. My right breast and under my arm pit are beginning to feel the tightness along with minor irritation.... so I let the nurse know that I'd no longer be shaving my right pit for her.

My energy is great, for now, and I'm hoping that doesn't take a major dive. #cuzI'mLOVIN'it+Ifeelnormal

 

  

 

My radiation treatment screen... the details. 
My right breast + lymph nodes are in 'the treatment zone'
 

Side notes

What to wear to Radiation:I'm a quick changer so I skip using the lockers. I wear a cardigan that can be quickly pulled off + on along with my tank that easily pulls down when I get on the treatment table. [the video was taken during a particular cold week and I needed the extra clothes layer] Oh, and don't wear deodorant in the pit they are treating.

Hold Still:Let the team move you into just the right position.If they want you to help they'll ask you to scooch down/up a bit. You can keep you eyes open or closed during the actual zapping.

Meds: I was told to stop taking vitamin C during radiation because the doctor doesn't want me to have any antioxidants.

Rads: That's how my twitter friends refer to radiation.

 

 

 

last in the series...

The local paper has followed my cancer journey for the past 10 months. The last article in the series ran the day after Christmas... "Focusing on a good life beyond cancer" click here. 

The pictures are very telling, very forward, and an honest depiction of my journey. #fairwarning

The photos on my blog are the moments I can capture... the smiles, the hair shots, the friends. Troy, the photo editor for The Columbian, captures the truth. And I whole heartily support that...
even if the photos aren't the most flattering... because cancer isn't flattering. #butyoucanhaveacuteblogheader

This photo (by Troy Wayrynen) really sums up my physical journey. The port and mastectomy scars, the markings, the tattoos, the hair, the radiation laser and the grin and bare it. The precision of care... [Is it weird to say I'm happy Troy captured it]

                       Photo by Troy Wayrynen The Columbian 
Krista Colvin winces in pain as Tami Fuller, a radiation therapist at Northwest Cancer Specialists, makes a permanent tattoo mark that will serve as a target during future radiation treatments

After one of my physical therapy appointments... I turned the camera on them ;)

 

 
Erin Middlewood and Troy Wayrynen

I'm going to miss Erin + Troy... They've walked my journey with me. They've witnessed my ups, they've captured my downs, they've been incredibly professional and caring at the same time. They've made a community aware. They remind me that life is about the journey.

The 7 part series "Coping with Cancer" click here 

 

radiation day 10

 

Radiation is pretty uneventful compared to chemo, surgery, reconstruction...

I don't want to downplay it's importance, nor my newly found skill of laying perfectfully still (as if a monster is under my bed), nor the precise expertise of my doctors + their staff. BUT... so far it's easy peasy. #hopeI'mnotjinxingmyself

I stroll on in... barely have enough time to do a couple of puzzle pieces before it's my turn. I even get the good parking space. #bonus #i'vebeeneyeballingyoufor10months

10 down... 23 to go

p.s. I've been warned of my future skin discomfort... appearing around day 17. I've been reassured there's potions for that. But mentally I'm not being messed with.

 

overdoing it...

Sometimes I over do it and pay for it later. I do just one more load of laundry when I should be resting. If you're a mom or a woman you may be nodding your tired lil' noggin along with me or maybe an 'amen sister' is in order. But last week I really did a doozy. A major over do it.

 
 

While packing for my Thanksgiving weekend I had to count out my vitamins, meds, and the number of underwear I needed. Needless to say it's not the underwear I screwed up on. I've written before about the mass number of pills I'm popping and how I felt like a junkie when I needed more sleeping pills but my prescription was out...  click herefor that post.  Long story short, my doctor said I could take 2 pills per night and when you're 'big boned' I needed 2 pills to get + stay asleep. The pharmacist called my doctor who then upped my pills from 5 mg to 10 mg. Insurance likes it that way. And I did as well... running out of sleeping pills and not being able to get my refill sent me into a panic... hence the junkie blog post.

Well that was months ago, but for some strange unknown reason when I was counting out my sleeping pills for my trip I counted out 2 per day. My current prescription is for one per day. The entire week I double dosed- not good. In fact one night after visiting with old classmates and having two pear martinis under my belt, I decided to just take one sleeping pill. I told my husband jokingly "The last thing I need to do after all I've been through is to O.D."

I'm not even sure how I came to the conclusion that I had messed up. All I was doing was pulling into my garage after picking my son up from basketball practice and bam it hit me that I may have double dosed. I doubted myself, wondered why I'd even think about sleeping pills at that moment, then in order to prove myself wrong I went inside, counted out my pills, did some math and yes I had screwed up. I thought about how elderly people must do this shit all the time. It's confusing, overwhelming, and dangerous to make mistakes.

Then oddly enough that evening my husband was watching Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. #whichisslightlyaddictingwithinitself  Two of the addicts listed meds I'm currently taking. Great. Definitely a reminder that I need to be more careful and that packing panties is less important than getting my meds correct.

 

need to rally

I'm feeling SO done with doctor appointments. I adore my medical team and their fabulous staff but I'm done. I'm wiped. Here I am d.o.n.e. with cancer cells but the journey still looms ahead of me.  This week I had my physical therapy appointment, my breast expanders deflated by 1/3 and today my radiation appointment to get 'marked'. But within an hour of the radiation marking appointment I got a 2 calls from my medical team. 1. I need to deflate a bit more so that radiation can do a better job at zapping me 2. A call from the plastic surgeon to schedule that deflation.  That means 2 more appointments added to my schedule. I was relieved that I was able to schedule them during school hours to avoid child care but bummed to have to have them at all.

On top of this, I'm tired. I slept crappy last night. I couldn't take a sleeping pill because I had taken a valium earlier in the evening to relax my chest muscles. [was told not to mix those meds] I also seemed to have heartburn or the need to vomit. I kept telling myself it was heartburn and got up to take a prilosec, pee yet one more time, and then shuffle the pillows around like a pregnant woman to get comfortable. I also had to ban the dog from the bed as somehow he manages to take up more than his fair share and he's a dachshund. #gofigure

Did I mention I start radiation next Wednesday. I'm not all that concerned about the treatment, but rather the amount of time. I will have a daily appointment m-f for 6 1/2 weeks. AND even after that I won't really be done with my cancer journey. (can you hear the woe is me in my voice) I'll have my Herceptin infusions through March, Surgery to remove my baby bearing parts in May #notthatIneedthemanyway, and breast reconstruction sometime next summer. Then maybe I'll be able to say I'm DONE.

So here I sit... waiting for my hubby to get home so that I can cry a bit and have him boost me up. I need to rally... I need to put my big girl panties back on and I need a good night's sleep.

when negative is good thing

It's been a long day. A good flippin' long day.

My pet scan results came back.... voila just like that [ok, not so voila, just like that]
Negative. Negative on the carcinoma. NO CANCER. No glowy spots on the scan. No tumor. No funky nodes.
CANCER FREE BABY... just how I like it.

I cried tears of joy. I don't think I've done that yet in the realm of my cancer world. [If my words are 'off' meaning they don't grammatically match up to what I'm '... blame it on the pain meds. Yes, I'm on them today, I got expanded again and my new ta-tas are stretching out my pecs + skin]

When I told my daughter she smiled big...with her new smile that is missing her top front tooth. She said "You don't have cancer anymore". That is so simply put, yet so larger than life.

I don't feel cancer free yet... it will take a while to soak in. I still have a shitload of items on my cancer treatment checklist to tackle before my journey is over. So as much as I'd like to feel like it's all over, it isn't. Closer.... a LOT closer.

What's left:
6 weeks of radiation [to insure the bastard doesn't come back]
Breast reconstruction [they are coming along quite nicely]
Hysterectomy [because I'm at a high risk for ovarian cancer]

So today I CELEBRATE, but tomorrow I see my radiation oncologist to keep on keepin' on.

p.s. I VERY much appreciate all your kind comments on Facebook and on Twitter today. Thank you all for walking next to me as I mosey on down this path. It's way more fun with you than without.