A fews days after my double mastectomy... You can see the expanders are in and give me some shape.
The expanders have had a huge emotional impact as well- I don't feel boobless.
[I'm wearing a 'Survivor Tank' which was a gift from the Yummie Tummie people :) ]
I've been home from the hospital for a week. It's flown by. Which I'm thinking may be the power of pain meds and having my best friend Diane here to help me.
I feel ok, well actually I feel engorged which isn't usually what women would say following a double mastectomy. But in my case I opted for the expanders to be placed in my chest during the surgery- which means I'm not conclave but have the beginning of new breasts. The boobie doc put a decent dose of saline in them to start [ i think 240 cc's] + added 90 more cc's several days later. This is why I feel like my girls are full and ready to nurse...but in reality they are just stretching out a bit to accomodate my implants. About 6 months from now when my skin is ready [post radiation] I'll have surgery again to remove the expanders and place in my implants.
When I was in the hospital and prepping for my shower I took my first look at the sisters. I wasn't upset. I didn't cry. I wasn't grossed out. The stiches were covered with tape, there was no bruising or bloody gunk. I could see where the drain tubes were placed... which is the gnarliest it gets. The drain tubes take the leftover gunk/fluid and drain into what looks like a clear hand grenade. My job is to strip the drains + keep track of the amount of fluid. After a week or so they will be removed. Removal is determined by the amount of fluid my body would be able to absorb on it's own. I do have soreness where the drain tubes meet my skin and am looking forward to not lugging these things around. I have 3... 2 on my right breast with one of them draining the lymp nodes, 1 on my left breast.
Hope this doesn't fully gross you out. The lighter cup is the lymph node drain.
I keep a clipboard in my bathroom to record date, time, and amount of fluid drained.
My incisions don't hurt, which is a bit of a surprise to me, a nice surprise.
The top half of my chest doesn't hurt, but feels pressure. This is the device they have me wear. I call it my heartlight, the kids think it's more Iron Man. It does some electro-magnetic thing every 4 hours. I've asked 5 times what it does, but since I'm a bit strung out all I remember is that it helps relieve the spasms. It's simply placed on top of my chest and held in place with the white gauze tube top. #soMadonna
Random details:
I find my legs + arms twitching as I'm lying down to sleep.
The first day home I went to put on my big girl panties and then reached for a bra.
Reaching for a cereal bowl is apparently a no-no until my drains are removed and my blood vessels have had a chance to heal.
No driving until I'm done with my pain meds.
Keeping track of all the meds is a bit confusing... so I write down when + how many pills I've taken on a this clipboard I keep in my bathroom.
I have weird dreams that I don't remember.
My eyesight is wonky... I have to remove my glasses to read my iPhone + the newspaper.
My community is full of great cooks... I SO appreciate the meals + baked goods!
I don't miss my old breasts.
I haven't cried since surgery.
I have 6 doctor's appointments this week.
I'm feeling ok about all of this.
