I'm feeling SO done with doctor appointments. I adore my medical team and their fabulous staff but I'm done. I'm wiped. Here I am d.o.n.e. with cancer cells but the journey still looms ahead of me. This week I had my physical therapy appointment, my breast expanders deflated by 1/3 and today my radiation appointment to get 'marked'. But within an hour of the radiation marking appointment I got a 2 calls from my medical team. 1. I need to deflate a bit more so that radiation can do a better job at zapping me 2. A call from the plastic surgeon to schedule that deflation. That means 2 more appointments added to my schedule. I was relieved that I was able to schedule them during school hours to avoid child care but bummed to have to have them at all.
On top of this, I'm tired. I slept crappy last night. I couldn't take a sleeping pill because I had taken a valium earlier in the evening to relax my chest muscles. [was told not to mix those meds] I also seemed to have heartburn or the need to vomit. I kept telling myself it was heartburn and got up to take a prilosec, pee yet one more time, and then shuffle the pillows around like a pregnant woman to get comfortable. I also had to ban the dog from the bed as somehow he manages to take up more than his fair share and he's a dachshund. #gofigure
Did I mention I start radiation next Wednesday. I'm not all that concerned about the treatment, but rather the amount of time. I will have a daily appointment m-f for 6 1/2 weeks. AND even after that I won't really be done with my cancer journey. (can you hear the woe is me in my voice) I'll have my Herceptin infusions through March, Surgery to remove my baby bearing parts in May #notthatIneedthemanyway, and breast reconstruction sometime next summer. Then maybe I'll be able to say I'm DONE.
So here I sit... waiting for my hubby to get home so that I can cry a bit and have him boost me up. I need to rally... I need to put my big girl panties back on and I need a good night's sleep.
