I'm doing it...
I'm baring my baldish-chemo-headed noggin to the world in hopes it shouts "self check" and "schedule that mammogram" to all the women that catch a glimpse of it.
I'm facing my fear of going hat-less so that women will face their own fear of that first mammogram.
I'm going bare because my head is my pink ribbon.
Unlike Eminem that shouts "I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid, to take a stand, to take a stand" I AM afraid. I'm afraid to take a stand. But I'm doing it anyway.
I'm uncomfortable, I'm uneasy. I'm vain. [I'm a girl without my sassy brunette bobb]
Today I wanted to reach for my hat. I wanted to look cute, well cute for a cancer girl. I wanted to blend in. Taking a stand is challenging. I'm not known for my activism, I'm a peace keeper, I avoid political discussions. I've been hiding behind my hat.
Before deciding to 'go bare-headed' for the cause, I ran it by my husband and kids. I figured they may be my 'out'. Au Contrere. I told Mike that I didn't know if I could do it. That I didn't know if I had the guts. He replied "No one will fault you for doing your best".
The kidlets surprised me. I explained what breast cancer awareness month was and my plan. Annie (8) simply replied "Sure. Everyone knows you have cancer anyway". I was expecting her to be embarrassed by my baldness. Wes (10) was quick and enthusiastic in his response "Heck Ya, Go for it!". So...no hesitation from my home front. My easy out was thwarted by support. My decision was made.
I'm doing it. Today was the 2nd day...
I've walked the kids to school, sipped on my latte at the cafe, picked up our dry cleaning, attended parent curriculum night, and shopped at the local boutique.
I've endured self imposed awkwardness.
I've wondered what the school kids are thinking as they look up at my head with their heads tilted to the side.
I've shared my hopes that women will do their self checks and schedule their mammograms.
I got the dry cleaning gal to promise me she would make her appointment as it's been 2 years since her last exam. [remember my mammo 9 months earlier was clear]
I want to turn awareness into action.
I'm learning to take a stand.